Dwelling Together in Unity

The greatest challenge of playing on a team is that you have to depend on others in order to win. That is why some of the most gifted and talented individuals don’t excel in such team settings as sports, the academic & business worlds, churches, and families. One of the greatest reasons for this underachievement is the tendency of individuals to fight in an attempt to change others and to get their way. Many times this occurs over matters that are not significant.

Former pastor and present leadership consultant John Maxwell gives these 5 disciplines for discerning when to fight for change and when to sacrifice oneself for the team’s success:

1. Spend time with people who are different than you. You will be less likely to judge or battle others.
2. In matters of personal preference or taste, give in. Save yourself for what really matters.
3. Don’t take things too personally. Remember, hurting people hurt people, and are easily hurt by others.
4. Practice the 101% principle. Whenever possible, find the 1% you do agree on in a difficult situation, and give it 100% of your effort.
5. Be a servant leader. “If your mindset is to serve rather than to be served, you will likely encounter less conflict.”

The Psalmist is so enamored by the importance of peace & unity that he gives one whole psalm (Psalm 133) to its praise—“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity!” He knew the refreshing power of its presence.

Father, bless we your people this day to be people of unity in all the gatherings and groups we find ourselves a within. May others be refreshed by our presence.

Make a Great Impression

We may have heard that people make decisions about us based on what we say. But, do you know that God does as well? James was clear in writing that a person’s mouth reveals the type of walk he or she has with God—“If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless” (James 1:26). Here are a few other wise statements about our mouths that can help us make a great impression:

“He who restrains his lips is wise” (Proverbs 10:19).

“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18).

“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth” (Ephesians 4:29).

“Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt” (Colossians 4:6).

Father, help us this day to be a breath of fresh air to all those we speak with. May they hear our words and think of you.

Royal Friendships

A great reason to be discerning of who we call a friend is that friends influence us. They are given the opportunity by the proximity we allow them and the privileges we give them to download their beliefs, outlook on life, attitudes, counsel, and values into our lives. It is for this reason the writer of Proverbs strongly cautions us to let the heart and character of a person determine if we give them the privilege of being called a friend. As the writer of Proverbs 22:11 states, “He who loves purity of heart and whose speech is gracious, the king is his friend.”
So, does the buddy or girlfriend you love to cut up with deserve to be at the top of your friends list? In what direction are they taking you? What keeps you in a friendship with your closest friends?

This is also an important reason to get involved in our kid’s list of friends. In the New Testament we are given a strong warning in 1 Corinthians 15:33—“Be not deceived, evil company corrupts good morals.”  Are their friends encouraging or discouraging what you desire to see in the life of your children?

Givers & Takers

The second important characteristic of true friends that the writer of Proverbs notes is that they Give & Take. They lend benefits to the relationship and are not just in it to see what they can get from you.

Proverbs 19:4— Wealth adds many friends, but a poor man is separated from his friend.

Proverbs 19:7— All the brothers of a poor man hate him; how much more do his friends abandon him! He pursues them with words, but they are gone.

Do you give your friends a chance to contribute to your friendship? Do you have friends that seek to both give & take as occasions arise? Or, do you have takers only? Remember, don’t set yourself up to be disappointed by not reserving the word ‘friend’ for those who truly understand this important characteristic.

Stickers

As we noted yesterday it is very important in a modern society that is always redefining our basic concepts that we understand what we are looking for in a ‘friend.’ The writer of Proverbs gives us some great characteristics to look for. The first of these characteristics is that Friends Stick.

We all need to raise our standards for friends & never lower them! The writer of Proverbs is clear that a true friend takes on a state of permanency and commitment that is akin to that of family relations. As family members can’t ‘un-family’ you, so a true friend stays/sticks even through your most difficult times.  As the latter part of Proverbs 17:17 is translated in the Contemporary English Version—“Relatives are born to share our troubles.” 

• Prv 17:17—“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

• Proverbs 18:24—“A man of too many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

Do you have friends who have stuck over the test of time? If not pray for some.

Even Better When Served…

The Golden Rule is not only radical in how we are to treat those we don’t get along with (our enemies), but it also gives an incredible boost to relationships we enjoy.

“Treat others the same way you want them to treat you” (Luke 6:31).

Or in a shortened version—

“Do as you desire done to you.”

Try it and see.

A New App.

Here’s a great application from our focus on Joshua 9 that was presented in an email to me yesterday:

“I went back and read Joshua 9 and saw the Gibeonites as ‘taking the shortcut.’  Thats a term we use in our house with our kids because that seems to be their choice when they just don’t want to do the right thing.  They come up with a ‘short-cut’ and it’s usually because they will lose something or miss out or in the case of the Gibeonites, there is just pure fear,  if they do the right thing.  The short-cut usually leads to more disaster as my kids always find out in the end and that’s what happened in the case of the Gibeonites.  They didn’t “trust” in this “god” they heard about.  They took a shortcut.”
It is great when the Body tailor’s the application of God’s Word to meet its needs.

Our Vision/Destination:
A Church Family where the Triangle will see, hear, & touch the diversity of God’s grace.

Enter This Way

I have a confession to make. Until studying the Joshua 9 text in order to preach it, I had always viewed the actions of the Gibeonites favorably. To tell you the truth, I thought they were quite wise and shrewd in their approach to dealing with the Israelites. I guess that reveals how much I still need to renew my mind from my fleshly ways.

I hope you saw yesterday that the actions of the Gibeonites ended in slavery and bondage because of sin. God is consistent, deception is counter to His character and those who seek a relationship with Him must approach Him in line with who He is.

Our Vision/Destination:
A Church Family where the Triangle will see, hear, & touch the diversity of God’s grace.

You’ve Got The Power

In Matthew 18:21—35 we noted that the power to forgive for a Christian is based on the realization that we can forgive others because God’s forgiveness of us has been so great and so complete. Paul notes this in such passages as Ephesians 4:32 “Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you;” and Colossians 3:13-14 “Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.”

I cannot tell you how important it is for true biblical forgiveness to be practiced in relationships for them to be what God & we desire for them to be. There are relationships of friends, spouses, family members that are ebbing away or have already died because this type of forgiveness is not practiced.

I pray that today will be the first day of your letting go of past hurts or resolving to live in an attitude of forgiveness so that you will never let an offense take control of your life.

Our Vision/Destination:
A Church Family where the Triangle will see, hear, & touch the diversity of God’s grace.